Endpoint

Josef - Hustler

Sometimes I wonder if it's too late for me, late to change, I'm just in the phase where I really don't show anyone that I care, so I'm seen as a proud and arrogant person ...

I don't really have anything to be proud or arrogant over, so it would be amusing if it didn't corrode my heart ...

Just beware the day when there's nothing else to wreck I guess ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1QGnq9jUU0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Appearance

Josef Salvat - Hustler

Well I had my Christmas do yesterday, I've been told that I need to be more social, so I go when I get invited to stuff ... it was quite a nice meal, I had a salad, pizza and some ice cream. I've realised that it does not take me a lot to fill up.

Anyhow the whole experience was a tad weird, I'm not the greatest social person anyway, but methinks drunk folk are interesting to watch, hang out with not so much, some of them seem to get into my personal space or just talk about uncomfortable topics.

Although it was seen that my thought processes match several other folks, however the way that folk handle life is different.

The key topic was "boobs" I have a pretty flat chested colleague who isn't happy with her boob size, but that's a personal issue, I think folk making it appear trivial and then talking about random stuff that just goes down the path of innuendo was pretty silly. Even at one point stating that mine could possibly be bigger, I know they are seeing as I wear a reducer because I hate the ways guys used to talk to my chest or my limitations to sports, however I wasn't going to highlight this fact, my boobs are just that mine!

She just needed to let it out, that way she could move on perhaps, however everyone has their own way of dealing with things and when inhibitions are lowered perhaps folk don't think like that. And so everyone appeared to be speaking about their own agenda and thus the topics were confusing and ever repetitive.

Sometimes I wonder how I would behave if I I did ever become intoxicated, would I lose my cool, would I be the happy drunk, the sad drunk, the angry drunk. However tempting it may be to experiment I doubt I ever will, be it tobacco, alcohol or any other substance.

Right rant over, I'm gonna go play rebuild 2!

Pivot

Ninetoes feat. James Newman - Silver & Gold (Finder)

https://soundcloud.com/ninetoes78/ninetoes-feat-james-newman

We don't need money, we can live for free, I'd rather be poor with you baby you're the one I need,
We don't need money, we can live for free, I'd rather be poor with you and be happy

Silver and gold, silver and gold, If I'm the one that you hold, money don't mean anything (x2)
anything (x 12 - fades away)

I don't wanna work today, I don't wanna throw my life away, Same old story everyday, I don't wanna throw my life away (x 2)

I don't need
Silver and gold, silver and gold, If I'm the one that you hold, money don't mean anything (x2)

It's been a while, just because ... I'm in a thinking mode (when am I not?)

And because this is my space to rant it's about me (again!)

Folk wonder why back at uni I actually became more religious, I was one of those simple folk who hadn't looked more into her faith and just living it because I was told to and it suited my lifestyle, behaving as a buffer I didn't have to worry about having a social life like most folk in my class did, worry about having a relationship in the weird broken manners that others had, etc ... however a professor told me "your mum isn't here to monitor you, you can do anything" that was an eye opener I had never thought about this before. That day in my second year was the pivot and that's when I chose the creator over creation.

So from that point forward I tried to become more informed and thus to become more content with who I am as a person, because at the end of the day it's me who should make me happy. Some say you should surround yourself with supportive people that help you to develop yourself, however could this be countered with the strength of a person is seen in the times of when you have nothing, be this people, money, etc. So even if those you hold dear are not supportive what does one do, distance yourself from these folk or to listen to the advice that even after deep contemplation makes no sense.

So what do I do? I bottle up! Yeah ... oh well ... maybe I should find a good way to release, But I've done it for so long, each secret I have is my own burden that I bear as I have yet to see a reason to share any of my burdens with another ... so another pivot point in my life is going to occur and now I have to ponder what I'm going to do ...

Sami Yusuf - Forgotten Promises

Society

Chris Brown - Say Goodbye

Society confuses me, I got told today I need to watch the way I speak, apparently I say stuff in such a manner it could be taken in another manner.

I just thought why should I change the way I speak purely because rather then listening to what I'm saying, apparently it's better to make incorrect assumptions because other folk use the same words in a different manner.

Oh and sorry folk, I'm just forgetful at present so haven't updated in ages, I feel like I should be ranting a whole longer however nothing comes to mind whilst I sit on this bus, pondering on which "brain" game to play ... ^_^

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDXXi19_7iE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Discovery

The Weeknd - the birds part 1

2 things I discovered today:

Ender's Game - the movie - sucks

Manhattan gel eyeliner is the same as collection 2000 but it has a whole bunch more colours, teal is petrol for anyone that cares ...

Nice ...

Justin Timberlake - TKO

Okay well I'm ranting because I need to get it off my chest, because orcs darn annoying. Sometimes I wish naively for the land of Lilliput, in order for my character to perhaps be acknowledged, anyway start the rant ...

Nice guys finish last, so do nice ladies, I used to mess around as a kid sure, but what have I ever done as an adult that warrants how society treats a "nice" person, it's more then a tad annoying that being nice automatically means folk tend to forget that you're human. Because being nice means you won't take offense in the same manner as a person who may not be as nice ...

I think forget that although patience is a virtue it is not limitless, and else a person will implode or explode figuratively, either way the spark that gives them direction will be the thing that dies, leaving humanity with one less light in the darkness ...

Randoms

Arjun - Take it Back

Okay well I dislike many things:

Smokers in bus queues - seriously get out. I don't want to passively smoke you selfish people, not saying all smokers are selfish, most of them stand to one side and smoke not disturbing me at all, it's the ones that stand behind me and so I leave my place on the queue, argh!

Collection 2000 gel eyeliner, love it, but man is it a pain to take off ... Oh well no pain no gain, all for the sake of being pretty in some folks eye, although if you forget to cover your under eye circles this won't look so great ... although I tend not too do it too much just to be presentable, else I freak out when I look in the mirror, I do still want to look like me after all ...

And because I'm hungry I'll finish for now ...

THE CREW (Philippines) Gold Medalist /Adult @ 2012 World Championship

http://www.youtube.com/v/ZjQxvg6sfwY?version=3&autohide=1&showinfo=1&feature=share&autoplay=1&autohide=1&attribution_tag=MBn4olZmnFiGVjA7iRyjxw

Update

Jabberwokees - Without You

Erm, let me see, I have no recollection of the last couple of faults, bar clearing the side of the house and moving a ton of building sand. As well as releasing why the sky dish isn't working ... although my fear of falling meant I got 2m next to the dish but grabbed the ladder as if my life depended on it ...

Hope everyone else is okay!

Confusion persists ...

Beastie Boys - Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win

Dun, dun, dun ... queue dramatic music ... nah just kidding, just being me nothing exciting.

Still thinking in my random manner, learning new slang terms, although I was once told that there is no logic to the irrational world of slang, so it probably just be something to learn just to understand others rather than something I will actually use ...

In other news, no idea, need to call someone next week to find out further ...

TLC - Girl Talk

http://www.youtube.com/v/VdV8XyxFIPM?version=3&autohide=1&showinfo=1&feature=share&autohide=1&autoplay=1&attribution_tag=jC1cesp7ld1SISGRgqMkfw

Storms

Culture Shock - Ex'd Up

So my sister stopped the sky subscription, then there was a storm ... so now no TV ... my mum is pretty upset, no TV, nahin! Lol

Adoring fans

The Weeknd - Birds part 1

Once again my mum is thinking about getting her daughters hitched, unfortunately this includes me ...

The eldest thinks that she's perfect in her uneducated manner, the second requires a person as strong as she is to handle the task called life. Me I have no idea who I am, so I have no idea what my ideal is. I would be happy to be content. Some may call that boring, others would expect more from me. I'm so tired though, is this world really worth living for. Some of my friends have suggested that I get someone echo adores me, so that I can be adored as I deserve to me. My thoughts on the matter are that should that ever happen then the guy deserves to be adored to.

Am I the person who can ...

Palestine - The Sound of Reason

Larry (Les Twins) Tutorial All Part

Nice Person

Richie Saso - Step It Up

I think that's the name of the artist ...

My mum recently found out that I keep diaries, she advised me that it's not healthy as it means one well recall events that are not meant to be recalled.

I don't think she understood that it's just a release, which makes me ponder why I even keep them, should I just bin them to get rid of the memories ...

LES TWINS | Adagio Berlin October 2013 | Part 1

Regret

Shontelle - Battle Cry

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd been more sociable, me and my siblings dealt with our childhood in different manners, the eldest lived in her own dream world cocooned within her own shell not caring about others. The next chose not to trust people, although over time her social connections meant she met like minded individuals in order to develop herself, me the self created recluse because I saw the games and so chose not to partake, which definitely stunted my career, at the end of the day no one wants anyone who is honest and doesn't give a shit about office politics, people should be respected as people not a game.

But that now means I live in a world without any confidants, which means that sometimes you ponder the reason for your own existance more often than not ...

Contemplation

Rihanna - Man Down

Sometimes I ponder on whether I'd be a Muslim if I hadn't been raised that way.

I didn't even take it seriously till I went to uni. I had never bothered with all the stuff considered as sin, purely because it didn't look that fun. Cigarettes - why bother they only made me cough, alcohol - have you ever cleaned the stuff up out smells, drugs - smells disgusting, headaches and it costs a lot of money I never had, theft - why would I steal it belongs to someone else and what's to stop karma making it happen to me, boyfriends - has anyone ever met any guys worth the trouble, and the list goes on ...

Then uni, the real world comes and slaps you in the face, use-and-abuse the world, it's the fastest way to get anywhere worth getting to apparently. Love is just a word folk like to throw and the biggest commodity on the games people play, but without it we are nothing and with it we will never be incomplete. I guess growing up its more them just a slap in the face, and folk ponder on why I like to get lost in a good story, because the boundaries are something else, and depending on the genre you always know what will happen ...

Be grateful for what you have, it will be taken from you one day, and that day that you break down, it's only those grateful moments which will allow you to survive, even if those days are only in hope, for even hope it's a sister to joy ...

Can I stomach it ...

Conor Maynard - R U Crazy

For the first time in my life I got food poisoning ... OMG argh!!

Not fun at all, for the first day I was alternating between bathroom and my bed, taking breaks in between, hoping I don't faint or vomiting, not at all fun, so in future, not eating at another auntie's house without knowing how they cook beforehand, I do not have an iron clad stomach and have only escaped this dilemma by watching what I've been eating prior to this ...

The next day I felt tons better, I can actually walk to the bathroom without taking a break but wow was I still dizzy taking 5 times longer to walk, eat, made me yet again appreciate what I take for granted, my body!

Trapped

Fall out boy ft Big Sean

Some say I bottle everything inside, I say those people should be grateful for what I will never have, a confidante. I am who I am and though my heart dies inside at times, I am content (just as most of the world is) with what I have.

Some folk seem to think that I'm completely open, that just shows how well people do/don't know me. I might not care about whether you know my favorite colour, but will I tell you my nightmares. My true fears are those that only my diary will ever know, for who can be trusted with this.

Forgiveness

Union J - Beautiful Life

Well I have never seen myself to be a very forgiving person, folk who really know me know this, my stubborn mind can hold an opinion forever ...

However because I don't appear to be mean, folk think I'm a simpleton ...

One day I will do something other than laugh at their assumptions, weirdos ...

Strengths Finder

Sugababes - Shape

My sister has a new job, and got given strengths finder 2.0 in order to find her strengths and thus work better with these strengths and finding balance with folk of other strengths to achieve better results rather than ppl working at a mediocre level by working on their weaknesses.

Anyway she told me I should do this, but I'm too tight to go buy the code (I already got the book as epub and my sister has it sat on the shelf at home)

So Google I went and got the following:

http://freestrengthsfinder.workuno.com/

So although folk only note their top 5, you get a score against each category and by limiting to the top 5 I miss out on some with the same value, so my results were:

80 - Input
78 - Intellection
78 - Learner
78 - Deliberative
76 - Developer
76 - Fairness - translates to Consistency in the strength finder book
76 - Restorative
76 - Ideation
76 - Individualization

Apparently it's an eye opening experience, to me I'm not so sure, it confirmed what I already knew although maybe I feel a bit better, I know I'm not one of those aggressive people who likes to set forth and lead folk (even if my sister thinks I'd make a great leader I just dislike people not working to their full potential and comparing them to the standards I've set for myself ...)

Hopefully I'll be able to use this to better myself and thus help those around me in the same manner, but if you want you can get the book

or try the link above which I completed for free, in order to get my strengths and then read the relevant sections in the book ...

http://www.epubbud.com/book.php?g=NMDQAB89

Syria in Five Minutes

Gathering

Jay Sean - Passenger Side

One day I'm going to just have a no holds barred entry ...

My sister chose my sister, one sister is to honest and doesn't actually know what's happening, the other is a two faced twit who everyone seems to love because she's spent years living a lie that no one knows, except for those she counts as weaker then her.

Maybe someone will see it one day,but today is not that day, and I doubt that day is going to come anytime soon.

Mum went and said out we were all guys how different it would be, I told her I wouldn't live at home, mum just agreed, well what else would she say?

Atttaction

Imran Khan - Chak Glass

Just making a random observation as I was looking on the mirror, I really do look like my brother, that means if I'd have been born a geezer I'd be good looking, drat my genes I missed out on being a pretty boy and tough ... alas I'll go and wallow in my grief or something

So I'm off to go eat dinner, I'm starved, take care, eat healthy and look after the planet o/

Love

Chris Brown ft Aaliyah - Don't think they know

Okay well due to personal stuff I'm neglecting this blog ... as I said previously ...

Anyhow some strange folk seem to think I have fascinating thoughts, oh well I was giving a topic:

number of people one can love in a life time

What kind of answer can I give this question ... there is no answer that is simple.

In my opinion there are three things you could possibly feel for another person, hate, love and indifference ...

Each relationship is built with love and with deeper connections then this will be both love and hate with a wider range of emotion due to having further roots with that person ... hate for those who may have those qualities within yourself that you dislike, or those qualities you have seen in detestable people ... and indifference who most of the world, although even then you cannot remain detached when they show a documentary on tv, showing a child whose life has been stolen unjustly

So how many people can one love, how social are you and how big is your heart ... which it's ironic because I don't see myself as a very nice person, yet my namesake is generous of heart ^_^

Alone

Jay Sean - Passenger Side

Well I've been away, well not really, I've just been writing in my hard copy diary.

I wonder if I'd ever let anyone read them, titled "The frustrations of a pathetic person"  oh well

Anyhow from my time spent alone in contemplation I realised I have no close friends, not sure if I'm totally freaked out ...

Ramaiya Vastavaiya - Jeene Laga Hoon Lyrics with English translation

Lyrics with English translation

Song Name - Jeene Laga Hoon
Movie Name - Ramaiya Vastavaiya  
Music Director - Sachin-Jigar
Singer(s) - Atif Aslam & Shreya Ghoshal
Lyricists - Priya Panchal
Actors - Girish Kumar, Shruti Haasan

And no matters what happens I don’t believe he’s Said Ali Khan’s lil brother as my sister kept saying he must be … and we all know this is going to become a classic in any Desi wedding ^_^

Jeene Laga Hoon, Pehle Se Zyada – I have started to live, more than before
Pehle Se Zyada, Tumpe Marne Laga Hoon – More than before, I am starting to die for you

Main Mera Dil Aur Tum Ho Yahan – Me, my heart and you are here (at this moment)
Phir Kyun Ho Palkein Jhukayein Wahan – Then why are you stood with a shy gaze over there
Tum Sa Haseen Pehle Dekha Nahin – I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you
Tum Isse Pehle The Jaane Kahan – Before this where you were, was unknown

Jeene Laga Hoon, Pehle Se Zyada – I have started to live, more than before
Pehle Se Zyada, Tumpe Marne Laga Hoon – More than before, I am starting to die for you

Rehte Ho Aa Ke Jo Tum Paas Mere – Come to stay with me where you are near
Tham Jaye Pal Yeh Wahin Bass Main Yeh Sochun – Hold this moment forever in my thoughts

Sochun Main Tham Jaye Pal Yeh Paas Mere Jab Ho Tum x2 – I think to hold this moment, where you are close to me

Chalti Hai Saansein, Pehle Se Zyada – My beathing continues, faster than before(it is more than before, however in this context it’s more breathes, thus faster)
Pehle Se Zyada, Dil Theharne Laga -  More than before, my heart keeps stopping

Tanhaiyon Mein Tujhe Dhoondhe Mera Dil – In lonely hours, my heart searches for you
Har Pal Yeh Tujhko Hi Soche Bhala Kyun – In each moment my heart thinks of you, no idea why

Tanhai Mein Dhoondhe Tujhe Dil, Har Pal Tujhko Soche x2 – In loneliness my heart searches for you, thinking of you in every moment

Milne Lage Dil, Pehle Se Zyada – Hearts are connecting, more than before
Pehle Se Zyada, Ishq Hone Laga - More than before, love is starting

Make Up Tutorial

I saw this and laughed, it is all so true, and was more refreshing to see then most videos I watched ... ^_^

Personal preference

Jay Sean - Passenger Side

I had enough folk advise me about getting hitched, over the years folk have asked me whether or not I've been interested in a guy and whether I would be or not.

So I pondered, because I think I did find some guys attractive when I was younger, however looking back at it, I don't think I found them attractive but the fact that they had some qualities which would be suitable in a life partner.

Seeing as most of the guys have now got into respectable positions, where they are able to use their skills in a challenging manner and can support their partners. Which means maybe all folk have the ability to recognise the qualities of a good potential partner, do we lose this skill during our younger years and then search for less stability in order to fill the void because the right person doesn't appear to be coming along ...

As they say in QI, nobody knows ...

Have a nice weekend people :) and no I'm not getting married at any point soon, until I meet the poor fellow it's not happening ^_^

Culture Shock Dub ft Lomaticc WDYK (When did you know) Lyrics

Culture Shock Dub ft Lomaticc - WDYK (When did you know) lyrics

Sometimes you just know x4

We got caught in the fire, I tried everything
To get straight through to you but, you won’t say anything
We don’t know what we’re throwing, you’re acting like you’re right
Baby I wanna know and, you felt you saw the light
So tell me if it’s through, have you known all along
Now I’m asking for you to tell me

Baby,
When did you know … our love was gone x4

Tell me, oh tell me, oh tell me, I’m begging you to tell me, to tell me, to tell me x2

We got caught in the fire, you lost it over time
My heartbeat is a liar, it tells me you’re still mine
Guess I’m still in denial, so tell me where we are
I thought we loved each other, because we’ve come this far
I swore we’d make it through but, I guess that I was wrong
And now I know you knew it

So tell me,
When did you know … our love was gone x4

Sometimes you just know (my love was gone) x4

Akala - Fire in the booth

Conflicting views

Arjun - Tum Hi Ho

Argh!!!!

Seriously people really bug me, just because I do not belittle others does that mean it gives another person to belittle me ... I'm not quiet because I'm an idiot either. I've never perceived myself to be super smart by any means but neither do I think I'm a complete buffoon.

I ask questions to gain knowledge, if you start proclaiming that your answer is the definitive answer that smacks of something weird.

One great example is Eid, I have no problem with folk telling me Eid is on Thursday not Friday, however if you tell me it's because someone's calculated this due to a moon seen in a different country without getting the local moon sighting committee or equivalent to verify this, then where is the logic in that. Am I meant to ask this same person to get me my local prayer times too. It scream irrationality and I for one consider my faith to be a rational thing, we have been given brains for a reason.

And if I ask for local confirmation don't express your annoyance, yet another irrational action, seeing as it'll just create unnecessary tension, I'm not going to ask you to consider my perspective as the absolute truth and I would hope that no one else would do the same ... I consider points however considering them and blindly following them are 2 separate things ...

Apologies I just get annoyed when people make assumptions, it's bad enough that I get lectures telling me I should wear hijab and get married all the time, just because I choose not to comment on the type of clothing, behaviour, etc, it's not because I don't see them it's because we all have our own paths to follow and as I'm not perfect who am I to point out the imperfection of another, we are here in this world to use our strengths together and make a better world, decreasing and improving any weaknesses so that the world we have borrowed from the next generation is in better condition then we received it in ..

Main To Hoon Pagal Munda *HD*1080p Feat ShahRukh Khan & Sridevi (Army) H...

My interpretation of the song

--MALE—

Main to hoon paagal munda – I’m a crazy guy
Tu hai meri soni kudi, ya, ya! – You’re my beautiful girl

(Chorus)
Hey, main to hoon paagal munda – I’m a crazy guy
Tu hai meri soni kudi, ya, ya! – You’re my beautiful girl
Haan, leke dil ke pinjre ko – Yes, taken my heart into cage
Bulbul meri kahan udi – Where has my bird flown to

--FEMALE—

Raste mein khada hai – In the path he is stood
Zid pe kyoon ada hai – Why is he being stubborn
Mere peechhe pada hai – He is after me
Tu deewana bada hai rabba – He is very crazy (in love), Lord
Aayi museebat badi – her comes a large calamity

--MALE—

Chorus

Patli kamar se dhumka jo maare – With her slim hips, she sways them side to side
Ho jaaye paagal saare kanwaare – All the single men go crazy
Hoye, patli kamar se dhumka jo maare – With her slim hips, she sways them side to side
Ho jaaye paagal saare kanwaare – All the young men go crazy
Mirchi ke jaisi boli, nainon se maare goli – She speaks with a sharp tongue (chilli), with her eyes she shoots bullets
Dekho to chehre se lagti hai bholi – From her face she appears simple

--FEMALE—

Dekha kahin na aisa anari – I’ve never seen such a guy
Ulti chalaaye chaahat ki gaadi – He’s driving the car of love the wrong way
Meri marzi na jaane, meri baatein na mane – He knows not my choice, he listens not to my words
Chhede hai raahon mein karke bahaane – he finds reasons to annoy me

--MALE—

Chorus

Ra pa pa pa pa, ra pa pa pa pa, ru ru ru
Ya, ya!

Teekhi haseena, meethi kataari – (not sure at all) Beautiful lady, sweet something
Kab tak rahegi aise kanwaari – How long will she remain a single lady
Sss, teekhi haseena, meethi kataari – (not sure at all) Beautiful lady, sweet something
Kab tak rahegi aise kanwaari – How long will she remain a single lady
Leke main doli aaoon, haathi ghode bhi laaoon – I’ll bring the doli, I’ll bring the elephant and horse
Deewani dulhan main tujhko banaaoon – I’ll make you my crazy(in love) bride

--FEMALE--

Teri hai teri meri jawaani – My youth belongs to you
Main bhi banoongi khwaabon ki rani – I’ll become the woman (queen) of your dreams
Jaldi baazi na karna, aise aahe na bharna – Hurry don’t play games, don’t gather tears
Teri hi baahon mein hai jeena marna – In your arms I wish to live and die

--MALE—

Chorus

--FEMALE--

Raste mein khada hai – In the path he is stood
Zid pe kyoon ada hai – Why is he being stubborn
Mere peechhe pada hai – He is after me
Tu deewana bada hai rabba – He is very crazy (in love), Lord
Aayi museebat badi – her comes a large calamity

--MALE--

Chorus

Updates

Jay Sean - Worth it All

okay no idea what I have or haven't stated on this place. Well at present I'm fasting so pretty much engrossed in this, ie behaving like a zombie as I need more sleep ^_^

Job - meh - sorting it out,

Argh that reminds me, gotta give to charity ...

Done ... although checking my bank account I'm thankful for all that I have that I'm able to provide a few folk perhaps some solace, maybe it's time to sponsor an orphan ...

Amusing moments, I think this has been more reflected on my fb updates, seeing as my mum is hilarious, she was trying to teach me and the eldest a 101 class on how to get a guy (some aunty wondered why we weren't married - she wasn't being mean she genuinely wondered as she seems to think we'd be suitable daughter-in-laws) I raised my brows and continued varnishing the door (yes I'm still at it, I get tired so I just finished a couple of coats for one frame at a time, this means that I've finished the first coat on nearly all the doors and the frames need a second coloured coat. And then clear satin finish on everything bar 1 doorframe and 3.5 doors ... not that anyone cares. Anywho I doubt I'll be able to implement any of the tips provided as I'm far to used to being me, I don't mind mutual compromise, but behaving in a manner that is unknown and just not me is not something I relish ... so I won't, if I stay single and a virgin till I die will I care, at present my answer is no.

Anyway funny moments, at an iftari I went to the although day, an uncle advised there was a prayer room set up for the ladies and advised of the qiblah. Upon getting to the room, the mats that were being laid out were in the wrong direction! I queried it, man do folk get defensive, no idea why, not my fault you just went and laid the mats out without a clue, so I asked them how they determined the qiblah, they stated one of them had a compass on their phone (not that I usually trust these, mine is usually wrong and I've downloaded loads of them) anyway I thought okay, then they offered to show me (I was just going to trust them at this stage - folks word should be good enough) turns out not one of them did not have a phone ... awkward ... then another girl went "well it's all about intention" (that's all well and good if you're stuck in an airplane, not in a fixed place where folk are praying nearby) I suggested what I thought it was, apparently no one likes it if the position does not align with a wall, I already justified my direction with what we were told in the hall and the building was rectangular so the direction should be the same ... the awkward pause girl redeemed the awkwardness by going to go check on her brother who was praying as well, whereas another suggested she lived nearby so it must be in the opposite direction, and chaos was about to descend. But it turned out when the girl returned I was right! Such a lol moment and even if I make it sound weird I was diplomatic throughout, huzzah!!

And now I'm going to go power nap during the rest of my lunch, I'm so tired!!

Take care folks :)

Jay Sean - Worth It All (Audio)

Jay Sean - Worth it All lyrics

No no no no
Oh
Lately I don’t know what we’re fighting for
We've been so back and forth
Lately you shouldn’t say I’m fine
Cause I know that you’re lying girl
Lately I know bit’s supposed to be all rosy
But roses come with their thorns
And I really think you should know

Bridge
It ain’t like the movies
Why can’t you see?
Love is up and down
And as long as we keep on moving
We’ll figure it out

Chorus
Yeah we gonna fight yeah we gonna fall
If we gonna go through it all
And you might cry and we won’t talk
Let me ride back to the start
Where I’m lost in your kiss
And the world don’t exist
But I know deep down in my heart
We’re worth it all
We're worth it all
Worth it all

You make me so mad
That I can’t stand you girl
It’s crazy the way you got me all figured out
And when you turn it around
You’re amazing and I don’t care we don’t gotta be perfect
Perfectly working for some
And I just gotta let you know (baby)

Bridge

Chorus

People talk too much
I see them talk to you
The fears come straight from my heart
I might break sometimes
Get it wrong sometimes
As long as you give me a chance

Chorus x 2

So girl I would do anything
Cause girl we’re worth it all

Jay Sean - Guns N Roses (Audio)

Lyrics to Jay Sean's song from his new album - Guns n Roses ...

Yeah... ooh... baby... ooh why ... why ... mmm... why


Why are those tears falling
Why do I hear ‘em calling
Out my name
Out my name
Look I know we both said some things
But we don’t mean half of what we say... oh we say

Throwing these words like hand grenades
Up in the air and watch ‘em rain
You got a way to drive me out my mind
That’s when I turn it back at you
Fire away without a clue
Of how much is really hurting you


Chorus
So baby go ahead and take your aim at me again
Cause I’m okay with war if love is how it ends
The way that you say sorry
And put those lips on me
It ain’t gonna be picture perfect
But what it is
Is guns n roses
We’re guns n roses

You can throw a bomb my way
For every time I make mistakes
But you know that’d never break what we built
And baby that makeup s**
Makes all of this pain worth it
So I’ll fight with you over and over again


Chorus

We’ve got a bleeding love
You are my deepest cut
And I believe in us
You should know
Cause every man will have his faults
Like every rose will have it's thorns
If it don’t hurt then we’re not feeling love at all


Chorus

Guns n roses
We’re guns n roses


Personally I still miss the asian fusion is is able to do, but oh well as long as he follows his dreams ...

Laid back

The Bilz ft Kashif - Inshallah

I've always been told I'm laid back, I personally never think I am, I guess sometimes situations show I might just be ... I had a root infection in a tooth filling and I suffered it for 2 days and although I only had 10 minutes sleep, I still manage to be polite to folk, although I think maybe I shouldn't be so calm about matters considering the dentist didn't sort me out until my sister had a massive go at them! Maybe I'm a massive doormat, should I stop being nice and polite to folk because I know I will not get service of the same standard .. Not sure whether this is something to get angry or upset over ...

Jay Sean Back To Love (Aaja Re) - HINDI

Chris Brown - Medusa Lyrics Video

The Bilz & Kashif - Inshallah Official Lyric Video [Massari - Shisha ft....

After Ever After - DISNEY Parody

Evaluation

Sama Blake - Sniper

Okay well let's see, was watching an ad about a charity called solace, which helps Muslim women, well revert Muslim women that is there are enough helping the others I guess different mindsets and all that. But it did get me thinking, folk are always up in arms about Shariah Law and yet if the Muslims were doing right by the women then no Muslim woman would ever be in distress, they wouldn't have to work officially as the community should be looking after her. Maybe if the Muslims asking for Shariah Law actually started doing stuff which is already placed within the Shariah other folk would understand that it not all this bizarre prejudice that some idiot folk keep about cutting heads and women's inheritance (probably because they don't understand the fact that a woman's money doesn't have to be used towards household tasks ...)

Anyway I digress I found it to be a sad fate that the lady is essentially taken from her family as they reject her, then reject by the community who stated they would take her in. I cannot imagine what she went through as I have never experienced this, whatever happens I know my mum will be there for me and have my back, this does have the condition of me not doing something wrong, like saying killing a child or whatnot, my mum may be the strongest woman I know but she's also a just woman.

However I have seen this also happen in communities of Muslims as well as reverts. Ladies will be segregated from the community as a taint is then associated with the divorced woman, rather then pondering on whether she has enough to get by to feed herself and the kids the guy left behind and to support the lady who may be lost without her former friends or family. And then after the woman has struggled and holds her own place in the community she is again accepted to a degree and not one member of the Muslim community will be ashamed of the cowardly actions they took whilst for years the woman struggled alone with only help from non Muslims (although her children are not worth marrying - God knows they'll probably be demanding and divorce the spouse because all kids raised in divorced/single households don't understand the dynamics of a household ...).

I am not saying this is true for all Muslims, however a large majority of the loud folk who like to complain continuously are usually the folk who instigate these kind of actions whilst taking money they would call haram if others earned it in the same manner and generally making a bad impression of all Muslims across the board who have a basis of faith based on faith rather then upon some random bloodlines which are half made up because the caste system still runs rampant and somehow by lying about your caste will get you a better standing in the community, who wants to be part of such a community, or who even wants to raise children in this type of deception.

And yes I know I sound pretty ticked off today, I've got my infection to deal with luckily the emergency dentist knew exactly what was going on and gave me the strongest meds ever, makes it a tight squeeze getting to work on time in the morning due to me being passed out, but it's fun being able to actually sleep. My dentist finally saw me yesterday, I think sometimes not crying like a baby does not help my cause, my mum says I need to stress how much pain I'm feeling, the fact that I stated I only had 10 minutes sleep should indicate this, however who in today's world has common sense.

Doctors and dentists, now these folk you trust, they are the folk that see you at your weakness and they have taken oaths to protect this. Nope not for me, apparently being a nice and trusting person means I get suckered and they do whatever they want to make a buck in my mouth. Fun! And answering the question do you eat chocolate and cakes with a yes means I'm a chocoholic and spend my days ingesting just cakes and chocolate? Meh tbh I'm just sick of it I don't even know why I start to care, the kiddie dentists rocked, everyone after that sucked, I guess being a business rather then being health care holds more for folk nowadays and trying to be a decent person means you will be trampled upon ... oh well ... laters for now the fast is gonna break soon and I need to get stuff sorted or something

Sama Blake - Sniper ( Produced By Eren E)

Here's my english translation of the punjabi lyrics in the song, I think I have a few lines wrong, let me know and I'll fix them accordingly

Call Me Sama Blake
Call Me Sama Sparrow
Chuppeya Khazana Aakeh Menu Labhlo – hidden is the treasure, find it
Labhlo Main Ha Chuppeya Khazana – find it my treasure is hidden
One In A Million Kehnda Eh Zamana – society says I’m one in a million

Zindagi Main Jeevan – I am living life
Je Main Kalla Ehs Duniya Te Main Rehna – As tomorrow I am not staying in this world
Mind Kari Na – don’t mind
Je Main Teri Jaga Aundeya Ee Lehjava – as I will take half of what you have

Bridge
Dar Tenu Kida – What fear do you have
Your Hating I Can See That
Das Ki Kara Main – Tell me what I should do
Taking Over The Scene Now
Kyun Menu Rukhda – Why are they stopping me
Munda Main Hai Top Da – I’m the top guy
Main Te Kadi Nahiyo Rukhna – I’m never gonna stop

Chorus  (x2)
Gal Sun I'm Sharp Like A Sniper – Listen to me “I’m sharp like a sniper”
Aakeh Tak Kiven Lava Maza Life Da – Come watch the pleasure of life
Main Nai Rajhda – I’m not full (yet)
Nahiyo Thakda – Don’t watch me
Main Hit Ah – I’m a hit
Main Ki Kar Sakna – What can I do

Tick Tock I'm Ticking Like A Time Bomb
Jo Main Kara Do Dhin'ch Ve Tu Kare Life Long – What I do in 2 days you spend all your life doing
Mera Hai Brain Jehda Smarter Than A Calculator – My brain is smarter than a calculator
Meriyeh Soch Jehdi Loki Kehnde Locooo – My thoughts have people saying I’m loco

Cheez Main Ouhwa – I’m that thing
Jidda Duniya Ni Ajj Tak Intezaar Si – That the world has been waiting for
Kujh Nahiyo Hona – Nothing can happen now
Hun Aagaya Main Exit Tenu Labhdi – I’ll find the exit for you

Bridge

Chorus

I'm Fly, Unbelievable
Mera Level Tere Layi Mission Impossible – To reach my level for you it’s Mission Impossible
You Know I'm Incredible
Tussi Kar Behte Waiting For A Miracle – You’re all sitting waiting for a miracle

So High Unreachable
Paave Par Laale Asake Na Mere Kol – Try as they can, they will not reach me
It's Impossible I'm Invincible
Don't Try Mere Level Da Koi Nahiyehhh – Don’t try at my level there’s no one there

Beat Eren E Da
Bridge

Chorus

Sama Blake "Sniper" acapella female cover

All the Qur'an I Know

Stubborn

Lawson ft B.O.B. - Brokenhearted

I am not a person that watches much TV, I watch a few shows, which have all stopped until Sept and then I can bear to watch short shows that required no real thought and where I can find amusement, The apprentice being one of them. However my mum hates the apprentice, she states Alan Sugar is racist, he might be however I don't watch it for the sake of watching him, it's people dynamics, although nowadays the folk who are involved tend to behave like children ... so I ponder at today's generation and what wisdom (or lack of) they will impart to their children ...

Anyhow my mum ask me the purpose of watching the program, I stated entertainment and learning to understand people, my mum found this unbelievable but said nothing, just watched he show with us, then the whole firing thing happened, then screamed out that he was a racist for firing the wrong person ... I did tell her they were all white ... awkward lol ^_^

Sidenote I hate Luisa! She's such a vindictive person, argh!!!

So the next day mum's watching one of her many dramas, I asked my mum what she was gaining from watching these show, as I'm not a fan and I would prefer to not watch them whilst eating my dinner. My mum then told me she watched them as I need to learn how to be more like the girls in the dramas so that I can find a guy, I laughed, and then quickly finished and washed my dishes, my mum appeared to be half serious about it, as she deems us unromantic ... meh to romance, oh well had a laugh then went upstairs to go sleep, knackered!

Changes

Jessie J - Wild

Okay well I've been a tad busy, been moving house at the mo ... yeah!

Anyways I was going through some of my stuff and found my GCSE project for systems tech ... wow I was a half smart cookie back in the day ... and I actually had some creative skills ^_^

Moving on it made me ponder about what folk say to me, I'm a very private person, if I don't know you I will be telling you near enough zilch about me, any assumptions you make about me are just that assumptions, I've only ever met 2 people who were able to read me, I was grateful for them, they were both lovely people, I don't see either person anymore, both moved and I hope Skegness and London are working out for them ^_^. The first, those were not the days were emails/phones were common for me (I just made myself sound like a dinosaur ...) and the second because he didn't use fb ... however it's better to know that I'm not as strange as folk make me out to be, I'm just me

I also need to bring back that passion I had as a child, most of it may have been spent running around like a headless chicken, but I enjoyed my me time and stuff where I got to explore the world through learning firsthand or through books (although my mum used to say a person that reads too much goes crazy so used to tell me to interact more)

So lesson to all, don't forget the epicness you had as a child, look through books, projects, be this for art, maths, science, etc

Character

Joe Jonas - Just in love

Sometimes I hate the fact that people look at me and think I'm 18, no my skin is not great so no idea why this is even though, maybe it's a look in my eyes ...

Anyway due to this age thing plus me being quite private and maybe some assumptions that I live with my mum, folk assume I'm an idiot or something ...

I don't claim to be the smartest person but I'm certainly not the most idiotic. If I tell you not to tell me something, there are 2 options, else I don't want to know or (surprise, surprise) I already know.

Argh!! Just because I'm not as selfish as others or as giving as others doesn't mean I should change. I should grow as an individual because I am educating myself and increasing my mental awareness and thus helpping become a better person as a consequence to this.

Oh well folk, may everyone have a fantastic weekend!!

Masks

Culture Shock - Fire

Okay well for those who know me, I haven't worn make up for the first 25 years of my life, when my mum thinks that I should try and become more attractive like other girls in order to attain the attention of a potential partner.

And thus I made a mission, learn about make up and stuff and thus see what happens, my mum was then shocked by the cost, so she soon understood why I had not bothered previously, not only does it take forever to get ready properly it's so expensive, especially if you get the stuff that works best with your skin and this will vary with the time of month as well as the weather and the season, and this is just one person! So many parameters and so many things, which come in different formats, be this primer, cream, powder, concealer etc.

Although I still have all that make up, so I tend to experiment with it now, although I don't bother much with skin stuff, at the end of the day a proper skin routine, ie clean and moisturise with a good diet will mean your skin for most people will be pretty much okay and to look perfect is pretty scary and takes over 30 minutes to achieve (as much of the time you have to between layers, etc)

But eyeshadows are pretty cool although using up all those cotton buds can be a tad annoying, although folk have started to notice my eyes more, and so in consequences my kashmiri heritage is more obvious, lol!

Anyway nothing more to say at present, toodles o/

Compromise ...

Dr Zeus & S Surinder - Rendeh

Well let's see what's been happening .. meh forgotten tbh ... as is me probably

Okay well I went to a wedding, the groom on showing the car he came in with his speaker system booming whilst his father was sat in the passenger seat.

I thought it was quite humourous, although from the short impression I hope the guy sorts himself out, seeing as she's an excellent lass. When I noted that she's much nicer then he deserves I was informed that women tend to marry below themselves, it's called compromise ...

In menatime gotta wonder, I'm far too much of a worrier and stubborn madam ...

Entertaining Thoughts

Changes ...

Imran Khan - Hey Girl

I was wondering whether I should destroy all my diaries, I started keeping them because they say it's a good outlet and then I started to keep them because I thought hey I can see how my writing style changes, my language obviously improved over the years and I went more from a me, me, me to a pondering of greater issues around me, sometimes because I'm putting my thoughts on paper after discussing it and sometimes because there's no one else to tell.

Personal - ... no comment nothing to say, it's written in my diary

Work - should I go for a career change or same thing different city? And where would I go, the world is my oyster, as long as I don't go abroad ^_^!

I bruise easily

Nouman Khalid - Desi Thumka

Hmm, okay well another recent thought I've been having, well not really it's been in the back of my mind because I half forgot, but anyway had a bookshelf fall on me (yes I'm fine hence why I'm able to write/type this) and thought.

I told a person I black out whenever I've been in a fight, and then I got asked have I ever been beaten (bar my mum doing this as a child even if some folk think this would be beats enough). I honestly thought no so I said no, then realised wait I have, and then thought I may black out, but this is usually when I retaliate and so then I can't fight so no idea what happens, but my nan thought I was possessed so might have acted like a berserker, but it's been a long time since this has happened an I grew up and discovered that the laws of the jungle are left in childhood.

Adults fight in a meaner world where words are weapons, even if they forget what they said these are ingrained into our minds and in part help shape us, regardless of whether we like the folk who use these words we'll remember some words more then others.

One reason why I never chased a management role and why I shy away from kids, although only 1 person figured this out ever, and sometimes I think he only learnt to read me because when he changed I changed towards him, sad it might be but our friends represent parts of ourselves and if you don't wish to have that part that detach from it and improve yourself (that's what I did perhaps I'm not strong enough to hold on and change us both). Risk, that's the key, am I willing to risk it in order help elevate the standards or do I play it safe in order to not have to worry about a wrong that I may/may-not cause.

Some folk are quick to agree that those that smile most are the ones who have hurt most, however these same folk fail to look around them and consider that it is their parent/sibling/friend who is the one who smiles most ... some folk don't realise that in the ability to show predictable behaviour they forget to look deeper and realise it's not so black & white. Decisions which may seem rash have come from years of experience teaching and thinking about the situation  But we're all judgemental twits so what do we know. When we look to teh future we imagine what our own future holds, for us and our descendants rather then humanity. And when we consider a wrong we determine whether it is a wrong to us or an institution that we have no care for. Forgetting to realise that in allowing this injustice which they may perceive to not be concerning them they have isolated themselves and when they become affected the same treatment will happen to them that they gave others ...

Oh well, end of another selfish rant ...

Meh ...

Imran Khan - Hey Girl

Okay so I haven't really sat down and done a proper blog in quite some time, probably due to me both blocking my emotions ad finding other outlets ...

Anyhow let's see what I was going to write about today, okay crime, when a crime is committed should people behave in a reactive manner?

With the whole media broadcast done on a poor guy everyone suddenly has an opinion, some are defending their opinions, other getting sick of the way the media behaves and the way they start analysing weird angles which go away from the actual story, some defend themselves, some choose this as a great time to should their ignorance and hatred and some just don't care.

I have no idea where to place myself, I don't believe that the whole situation was justified and I cannot imagine the pain his family must be going through, so Drummer Lee Rigby my thoughts are with him and his family.

I've never experienced a death of someone close to me, I recall my nan died when I was quite young and she was in another country, however I don't recall feeling that much pain, I knew she was old and that she parted on good terms with everyone and her death was natural and swift and I pray that it was without pain. Seeing as we all have to die one day perhaps I just accepted her death, and seeing as the remainder of my grandparents were dead I never had to go through their passing either.

So for the unfortunate incident that happened I felt a great sadness for everyone, not just the victim but for all those who were directly and indirectly affected. Why should we pile hate onto a sad situation? Why do we feel like a faith should be targeted? Why do we feel the need to defend our own beliefs?

But alas this is apparently what the people need as this is all they are obsessed on, the reactive. Else what could they do, be proactive is just hard ... and so it's left until a generation will be spawned who don't even know the meaning of proactive and reactive will be their lifestyle, maybe we're already there.

And then you get the ignorance and narrow minds of certain folk, whom all state that they are open minded (I may be called open minded but I know I have extreme prejudices against many things regardless of whether I'm aware of them yet or not, but that's my Jihad - Jihad means struggle to any idiots out there I'm not going to kill myself for anyone). Why oh why do people start associated unrelated things together, when they are not related and then have this stubborn attitude that it is. An example being a discussion I had with someone yesterday, somehow the death sentence is heinous, I stated that it can also be a good incentive for people to behave  they countered with well the law is corrupt, I agreed however it a system that isn't flawed perhaps it would work, the response was no law is corrupt ... errr then they went on to say if you cannot rehabilitate folk who are murderers they should be killed - my opinion is let the victims' families decide, each crime has it's own justice.

Once I noticed this I started to pick up loads more stuff throughout the day, albeit random users who started bad mouthing Indian call centres to folk telling me I'm too demanding and hence why I cannot find a guy (that is a discussion for another day ...) unfortunately I started behaving as I did 10 years ago, as if I cared and tried to get people to understand the other side, why oh why? People are all annoying, all of them. This is why it's so hard to find a true friend, and then when I've found one I tend to stay away because I cherish the friendship and know I might wreck it, this could be due to me being too eccentric as I usually am or to their partner becoming jealous (still confused why this happens I'm not a person to be jealous over, seriously I have nothing going for me, maybe my eyes (supposedly) are so-so but I don't think I've met a person who I don't think "wow their eyes are so amazing"

No real conclusions, I never have them, it's just an open ended thinking process and I might think something different tomorrow, so toodles for now, whilst I contemplate buying a new bag ...

Bleach AMV [Stare at the Sun-Thrice]

SSX 3 - Gravitude (Psymon Stark)

Roshni Se (English Subtitles) - Asoka - HD

World History (playlist)

Imran - Ne Rehna

en

Crash Course - Islam

Trey Songz ft TI - 2 reasons

I'm waiting for the day that I stop believing in god, on that day emotional blackmail will mean naught ...

The All-American Rejects - Move Along

QUIET ROOM (song about schizophrenia) - A-SLAM.COM Music Productions, vi...

Justin Timberlake - Mirrors

Emotional blackmail is a bitch ...

Who doesn't know this, arghhhhhhhhhhhh!