Saturday 12 October 2013

Nice Person

Richie Saso - Step It Up

I think that's the name of the artist ...

My mum recently found out that I keep diaries, she advised me that it's not healthy as it means one well recall events that are not meant to be recalled.

I don't think she understood that it's just a release, which makes me ponder why I even keep them, should I just bin them to get rid of the memories ...

Tuesday 8 October 2013

Regret

Shontelle - Battle Cry

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd been more sociable, me and my siblings dealt with our childhood in different manners, the eldest lived in her own dream world cocooned within her own shell not caring about others. The next chose not to trust people, although over time her social connections meant she met like minded individuals in order to develop herself, me the self created recluse because I saw the games and so chose not to partake, which definitely stunted my career, at the end of the day no one wants anyone who is honest and doesn't give a shit about office politics, people should be respected as people not a game.

But that now means I live in a world without any confidants, which means that sometimes you ponder the reason for your own existance more often than not ...

Contemplation

Rihanna - Man Down

Sometimes I ponder on whether I'd be a Muslim if I hadn't been raised that way.

I didn't even take it seriously till I went to uni. I had never bothered with all the stuff considered as sin, purely because it didn't look that fun. Cigarettes - why bother they only made me cough, alcohol - have you ever cleaned the stuff up out smells, drugs - smells disgusting, headaches and it costs a lot of money I never had, theft - why would I steal it belongs to someone else and what's to stop karma making it happen to me, boyfriends - has anyone ever met any guys worth the trouble, and the list goes on ...

Then uni, the real world comes and slaps you in the face, use-and-abuse the world, it's the fastest way to get anywhere worth getting to apparently. Love is just a word folk like to throw and the biggest commodity on the games people play, but without it we are nothing and with it we will never be incomplete. I guess growing up its more them just a slap in the face, and folk ponder on why I like to get lost in a good story, because the boundaries are something else, and depending on the genre you always know what will happen ...

Be grateful for what you have, it will be taken from you one day, and that day that you break down, it's only those grateful moments which will allow you to survive, even if those days are only in hope, for even hope it's a sister to joy ...