Friday, 13 May 2011

Ventures ...

Song - Breaking Benjamins - So Cold

Today I was nearly late, I cycled from home, and then cycled back realising that I left my workpass at home, how daft am I? Anywho luckily I left real early anyhow due to having to go to the bank and still had time, I forgot there are no queues at half 10 because other folk are working, huzzah!!

And then I started pondering during my day, I need to get back to my geeky/nerdy phase, seems a tad mashed in the head if most of my knowledge was acquired in the first years of my life and then after that I kinda lost interest having seen some harsh realities in the world, which I should have kinda gotten over at that age, but it appeared I left myself behind in the illusion that I had grown when in reality I was still stalling.

So I pondered education, how much I need to learn more, people, how I need to start communicating to people again (although I did try a resolution this year of keeping in touch with folk so hopefully this one should be cool - hoping) and gaining wisdom through the lessons I have faced and the lessons that others teach me, be this from a book, a person or any other way that life chooses to teach me.

Are these goals we should see as individual ventures or something that is just seen as a collective path and done alongside one another, in order to achieve a better result for each choice made.

And now I’m lost for words and not thinking at all, so I’m about to switch off seeing as I’m a tad tired and need food in order to go hibernate for the night and be happy in sleep!

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Rain ...

Song - Sonna Rele - Bring on the Rain

I once read somewhere that if we ever fine imprefection and seek guidance then look to the sky, for there is where perfection lies, I have no idea where I saw this, but it does generally get me to look up at the sky whenever I've feeling down and out, or even when I'm feeling great, for how else to feel thankful but to appreciate what is already there.

That may explain my I love the rain, it's part of a cycle that needs to happen and there is beauty in it, you only have to see it. Although my clothes, mother and immune system may hate me but I love my walks in the rain, just walking along draining the excess unecessary thing trying to picture your same but crucial place in the world. We may be like a grain of rice, but each grain of rice will have it's moment, be they known to all of mankind or just to themselves.

Well of I go to lunch, toodles folks, food awaits and the sky beckons before it pours!

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Letters ...

Song - Flaw - My Letter

Well today started, well I slept after 12, so got a long nap for several hours to start my day ^_^. I then got a crick in my neck and thought I'd just lie down again, 40 minutes later woke up feeling great :D.

Then went to town before work and brought some brown trousers, since my others got wrecked, although as I forgot to tie up my trousers I know have oil on my navy trousers! Although it didn't go through the chain so all good, just put them in the wash when I get home and hope it comes out! All in all a great day so far.

There are also some random folk in town giving out free chocolate but they weren't set up, so hopefully lunchtime should be great in regards to getting more chocolate! And pondering whether to get some olive green eye liner, although I've although got emerald and don't use it very often so possibly a waste of money if I do buy for an impulse want rather then something that I need ...

Anywho, trying to organise a party that I don't even have a date for, and have now decided it's gonna be a small gathering of my fellow female friends and just get them round my house just to chill out, have bring a dish - as I can't cook and it helps the variety of the meal ^_^ - thoughts ...

I know I have something else to say, but I've totally forgetten, although that reminds me I need to post some letters, let's hope I remember to post em!

Take care of yourselves ppl :D

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Flow ...

Song - Jennifer Lopez - What is Love

Hmm and here was me thinking I could easily do a blog every day. Although I did write a whole essay yesterday but it got lost somewhere in the cosmos and I couldn't recall what I had written so I left it alone.

I'm feeling half mellow, half not, not sure if I'm tired or not. Well I've been reminded of weird folk today. One thing people may know about me is don't insult me or mine, I will want to pick up the nearest 2x4 and whack you with it. Although if I think you're a safe individual I'll let you insult me, seeing as it might just be banter, letting of steam or mainly something in my character I need to work on. But don't insult the folk I care about, they is a reason I hold those people in esteem and that's not so idiot folk can try and belittle them through their uncreative speech which much of the time makes no sense anyhow and would be comical if it wasn't a veiled insult at best.

Are people just insecure when they start making up traits that ppl do not possess, is it a matter of just trying to make themselves feel just that little bit better, or is it just a habit taht they have learned of another and they feel it acceptable to spread this taint spread across the population rather then trying to encourage everyone to come together in order to reach a higher state for society in general so that we can excel and make something for the future generation, so they don't look back and wonder why we wrecked it all for them.

Talking about future generations, I've recently been pondering hijab, should I, shouldn't I. I've always felt somewhat separate from the whole issue feeling that I don't really represent the muslimahs very well, not the most religious of people and all. Although I did recently ask a fair few folk and most of them thought I was pretty religious, I felt somewhat humbled by the response as I don't really know how my image represents itself to the world and do occasionally fear taht I'm portraying myself to be a right dolt much of the time (luckily though most think I'm still at school for some reason, I've asked folk I no longer look 16 I just act like an 8 yr old, and it's only my use of language that has them thinking I'm older than the 8 years I act like! However this means I get let of for a lot of stuff ^_^). But another reason for it would be that the marriage market would be so different, then I could ponder at getting hitched to the more religious folk , however with me questioning my faith at every hurdle I ponder as to whether this is a valid reason for wanting to wear the hijab, everything is written and should I change something for a gain in this world, yes a life partner is more then something material, but would I only want a life partner because it's seen as the next step and something that needs to be done, rather then me wanting to get into a relationship in order to further my iman and get that potential upgrade in paradise(!).

Anyhow I'm losing my train of thought again I'm gonna go back to train watching (yes no pun intended) and finally realised why trains start beeping whilst pulling away from a platform - because there are workman on the tracks and they're informing them to get out of the way!