Thursday, 6 December 2012
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Friday, 16 November 2012
Monday, 12 November 2012
Sunday, 28 October 2012
Justin Bieber - Fall
First off Eid Mubarak to everyone, it's Eid ul-Adha (find on Wikipedia if you need further info) the one about Ibrahim's sacrifice if you don't know!
It's more a family time then all this weird stuff about getting presents, I'd rather have the happy memories then some inanimate objects ... but that's just me ...
Anyhow went to brummyland with the family, met some of my mum's friends and some new folk, got mistaken for a 16 year old and so someone told my mum that they had a good match for me ... my mum said no, the guy was too young plus he hadn't even finished school! And then my sister added later imagine what would have happened if you'd spoken to the aunty jee (I was on good behaviour and behaving well ie keeping my mouth shut) I sometimes wonder if people if ever stop with their own perceptions of where I should be on life ... meh, now to go find some breakfast, which doesn't consist of chocolate mousse!
Toodles o/
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Thursday, 4 October 2012
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
Monday, 1 October 2012
Angel - Wonderful
Okay well I couldn't be bothered writing in my diary today, probably because I couldn't find it and I shouldn't keep ripping pages out of my work notebook.
Well I was thinking quite a bit over the past few days, unfortunately I still get ticked off when folk try to second guess my thoughts and opinions. I've known so few people who have known and understood my personality, so again hearing someone try and second guess me is annoying.
I recall a friend saying to me that I'm the only girl he knows that gets less annoyed at insults and more insulted if someone attempts to flirt with me.
Endearments are something I think which should be sacred between a union of 2 people, and the fact that something could mistake my intentions towards this is more then a little annoying.
And so they lost my confidence, and trust once lost is hard to regain, so no idea whether to just cut them off completely.
Oh well back to thinking, or as I am at present thinking of sleep.
Toodles folk o/
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Monday, 24 September 2012
Sunday, 16 September 2012
Friday, 7 September 2012
Friday, 31 August 2012
Friday, 24 August 2012
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Monday, 20 August 2012
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Tuesday, 14 August 2012
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Friday, 3 August 2012
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Monday, 16 July 2012
Okay well went to a party yesterday, a family friend had her after wedding party, loads of arabic music, didn't understand a word but great songs, not confident to go dancing in front of a bunch of strangers but had a blast whilst helping clear up with dancing away to the beat, still need to work on the basics of arabic dancing, meh ... practice, lol
But what concerned me what the talk of quite a few folk, at a marriage event so yes it was all about the marriage, "why?" if you're not, "no kids?" if you was, etc ... lol. however the concerning point was how bitter some folk get because they're not married ... I was like woah, we're here to celebrate a union not to ponder in bitterness as to why the guys out there might be losers
I'm not contesting that there are a lot of demanding people out there, I am most likely one of them. Someone recently said to me would you marry a person who your parent chose, I said that I probably would. My mum has always put her children's best interest at heart. So who am I to believe that I have more wisdom then her in life. I know next to nothing about the way a guy's mind works. I only have the little brother and I doubt it's a good thing to base all guys on his personality.
My opinion has changed at various stages during the years and I hope that I've grown. However rather then blaming the other side (yes it's amazing the feminist that I am is saying this, however feminism is about equal not unequal rights) I consider that perhaps it means I need to improve my own character, and maybe learn how to cook. Although one chap did actually start learning to cook from his mum because I couldn't, ever so sweet and he's gained an extra life skill. (No don't ask me what happened, it happened years ago and hopefully he's got married to a lady to whom he can besotted with). Which shows in itself that we do make excuses to not get married, yes it is a lifelong commitment but we should not be so unreasonable that anything and everything becomes an issue.
Oh well forgot what else I was going to write and would just like to mention a big thank you to all my lovely friends diverse as they are for always having the ability to make me smile!
Friday, 13 July 2012
Thursday, 5 July 2012
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
Well a friend recently lost her father whom she was very close to ... when I went to go give my respects she reminded me of my father. I was very close to him although due to him being a terrible father and husband I haven't seen him for over 10 years, a few years after my mum divorced him.
I know I have 2 half siblings whom I've never met, tbh I've never thought much about it, my father married a close relative for his second wife, hopefully this will mean the marriage is more stable then it was. Although he just appeared to be a confused guy when I knew him. I recall the first book he brought for me (I requested it) I recall the blank expression he gave me when I questioned why he hit mum when it was against the faith of Islam, showing him the several sources, including a whole chapter of the book he brought me.
Since he left (not that he stayed at home much except when he was ill so mum looked after him) my mum protected me and my siblings for the ills of the world. I know I still look at some things in shock, even a guy walking topless down the street will cause me to look the other way, or perhaps I'm just old fashioned (perhaps because of this seclusion that I was comfortable with)
Anyway I digress ... my friend the only way I could feel anything near what she was feeling was thinking about my mum, if she died what would I do? Would I be strong and stand there whilst people came to pay their respecting lamenting and me being reminded time and again what I had only recently lost. Grief is natural and to not allow that hinders the healing within us all, however my mum is the centre of my world, even if I don't know how to look after her(!). What would happen if the centre of me was lost. I know my mum stays that everyone has the ability to rise from loss, as she had to do when she lost her mum also, I can only hope that I can do justice by my mum in this life, at still have had that little bit of time with her which many have not had with their parents and believe that when she returns to the almighty I've learnt enough from her to be a child who will honour and respect the legacy she has left within me
And if my mum thinks I'm strange when I go hug her, meh, we don't need a reason to hug those that we love. Take care people and treasure those moments that we have with those cherish people that are the family of our hearts, be this in blood or friendship o/
Monday, 2 July 2012
Okay well I recall that once someone told me if I'm looking for a hubby I should go find a freshie who's an accountant and lives over here. Oh how life tries to teach me something I just have no idea what it is.
Although it's a matter of keeping my morals over what people desire, hmm oh well I'll just ponder more.
Do I think too much, I've always thought that I used to although I never used to cover all angles so I thought I did not and then I realise that you can never truly understand another person.
You could be the same place at the same time, having had the same past and you will still think differently because that's the way people are, we all have our own thoughts and though we project our stereotypes and reasoning we will never truly understand another. As well as continuing to be amazed when people don't follow what we thought they would. We never truly understood them so how can you perceive them in all their decisions.
And on a side note I finally understand how some people can feel bereft without makeup, it was weird I've never thought I'd be that side of the coin.
Until next time, toodles folk and look after one another, we are what teaches the future generation after all be it through our actions and/or words
Jugni Ji - Kanika Kapoor - Dr. Zeus Feat. Shortie - lyrics in description below
My english translation of the song
The spirit of all the messengers who brought His message to this Earth
The spirit of a new saint
The spirit of Ali and his followers
Ae way meray pir di jugni ji x2
The spirit of my saint
Just trying to enthuse about your, jugni ji
The reason why you lose, you got no jugni ji
So step into my shoes and feel the jugni ji
Some people they don’t educate the jugni ji
Try to alleviate you of the jugni je
What will elevate you is the jugni ji
Just kick back and meditate and feel the jugni ji
O my creation, share whatever you have
Chad duniya dey janjaal
Remove yourself from worldly concerns
O my creation, share whatever you have
Chad duniya dey janjaal
Remove yourself from worldly concerns
Kuch ni nibna bandiya naal
There is nothing that you can get from other human beings that you can take to the after-life
Rakhi saabat sidh amaal
Just keep you actions and intentions pure
I have the spirit of my guide
The spirit of all the messengers who brought His message to this Earth
The spirit of a new saint
The spirit of Ali and his followers
Ae way meray pir di jugni ji x2
The spirit of my saint
Everytime I think of you God, my heart flutters x8/9 (gutkoon being the flutter part)
Ever since you feel you fight your jugni ji
Who would you really be without your jugni ji
What would you even see without your jugni ji
The reasons why your eyes is cos of jugni ji
Always to the sky because of jugni ji
Just take a look into my eyes and you’ll see jugni ji
You need to recognise that I got jugni ji
So absorbed was the creation that she stumbled into a ditch
Othay ro ro kamli hoi
There she wailed relentlessly
So absorbed was the creation that she stumbled into a ditch
Othay ro ro kamli hoi
There she wailed relentlessly
But there was no one who enquired about her
Tey kalmay binna nai mildi toi
Remember, there is no salvation for anyone without remembering your creator
Hoa pir meraya jugni ji
The spirit of all the messengers who brought His message to this Earth
The spirit of my saint
The spirit of Ali and his followers
Ae way meray pir di jugni ji x2
The spirit of my saint
Put on your bangles, girls
Put on your bangles, girls
Put on your bangles, girls
Those that you get at your Master’s shrines
Put on your bangles, girls
Those that you get at your Master’s shrines
The spirit of all the messengers who brought His message to this Earth
The spirit of my saint
The spirit of Ali and his followers
Ae way meray pir di jugni ji x2
The spirit of my saint
Thursday, 28 June 2012
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Friday, 22 June 2012
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Tuesday, 19 June 2012
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
Okay so my latest life development, actually chatting to folk on these matrimonial websites.
I've now decided to burn bridges with the idiots ... check their profiles and correct them ^_^. It's polite and because they haven't learnt anything except being cool or something as their english is pretty bog standard. So me having fun whilst being helpful and polite. Mwahahah.
Anywho back to food I need dinner, cereal it is!
Toodles folk o/
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Friday, 8 June 2012
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Friday, 1 June 2012
Thursday, 24 May 2012
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Tuesday, 22 May 2012
Monday, 21 May 2012
Friday, 18 May 2012
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Monday, 14 May 2012
I recall the last thing I ever said to my dad, it being that I never want kids as I fear that I may turn out like him and be a bad parent. I had someone recently say all females "ooh and aah" over little babies. However it appears I'm the exception to his assumption of this sexist comment.
I've never had the urge to fawn over a little one neither do I feel the whole biological clock, the older the get, the less I want kids or marriage. Maybe companionship is something that would make me feel lonely however I'd rather be alone then just settle for something in my bid to not be lonely, to hope that the person I choose to connect my life with will understand me totally, and that my silence will be understood, be this a tense or relaxed one.
Maybe if my communication skills were better I'd be less picky. Bottling things up inside is an age old habit of mine. However this can make situations uncomfortable when people try to show they have more then a passing interest. I'm not pretty and I do not have any real great qualities, I can't cook, cleaning passable and I have the worst temper this side of the hemisphere, why anyone would assume I would like to form a partnership when I know I would not suit them, me being the key point as to why it would not work.
People, the unpredictable weirdoes that they are will continue to confuse me in this quest called life. Oh well work at work, yes only a few understand that.
Take care, o/
Friday, 11 May 2012
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
Okay what to say...
First of all, hello all Russians, I have no idea why I get so many page views from your graceful country, however I hope I entertain :)
Justice. What is real justice, in the world we live in today there are several things which provide supposed "justice": money, power, looks. I'll take my next door neighbour for example her landlord has been trying to throw her out for months, why you ask, because she has not paid for 6 months, what's causing this wonderful delay you may ask, the court system, because this lady has 2 young children she has delayed the supposed justice system by months. And how do I know this, they were having an argument and so the landlady thought she'd show me the relevant court papers and stated that the argument was due to her asking for the rental arrears before the tenant ran off.
The landlord in the meantime must keep up their mortgage payments and repair any damage that the tenant does to the property, most recent being the tenant's son flushing several packs of wet wipes and toilet roll down the toilet and blocked up the drainage for everyone in the street. The tenant's response was well it was my son who did it why should I have to pay? To think I lived next to this women for a year and had no idea she was so irresponsible, I did find it unbelievable at first due to the fact she drives nice cars (think mercedes 2012 plates ...) but it appears that she's a shopaholic, she will pay for a new TV, sofa, car, etc. However paying bills (did I not say that the electric engineer came knocking at my door yesterday asking if I knew whether she had left the residence yet as the bills had not been paid, I think my face must have been O_O. I then advised him to contact the landlord, and provided him with the numbers as they were still trying to eject the tenant from the property.
Since my car died I have no car, since my bike and me were in an accident I haven't had time to get a new bike (as I usually get a self assemble and haven't had the time lately) maybe I should get it second-hand ... however I still manage to budget so that my rent and stuff like mortgage, bills, etc are paid. Whilst what do you do with people that live life to the max, fully knowing that the system will not punish them. 6 months and others are being made to bear the burden of her life where all she selfishly spends money on herself rather then others.
I'm amazed more people don't turn to crime, the system appears to allow people like this to get away with this ... at a loss tbh.
Take care folk. Let's hope we retain our morality for the enrichment of all rather then the selfishness of the few ...
Monday, 30 April 2012
Friday, 27 April 2012
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Monday, 23 April 2012
Friday, 20 April 2012
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Monday, 16 April 2012
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
Sunday, 25 March 2012
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Friday, 16 March 2012
Thursday, 15 March 2012
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Monday, 5 March 2012
Sunday, 4 March 2012
Friday, 2 March 2012
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Monday, 27 February 2012
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Friday, 17 February 2012
Thursday, 16 February 2012
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Monday, 13 February 2012
Friday, 10 February 2012
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Monday, 6 February 2012
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Saturday, 4 February 2012
Friday, 3 February 2012
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Okay well let’s see what’s been happening, same as always nothing much.
Anywho something amusing … went to this marriage event, it was meant to be a bit like a speed dating event possibly.
I managed to pull 3 guys, 1 45yr old, 1 dwarf freshie and last but not least a 55yr old. I was a little shocked to say the least I know I’m not pretty but it’s not that bad that only old cronie older then my mum start asking for sessions, my mum told me I was a fool to turn them down, she wanted to have a go so they don’t go after younger girls, lol, I have no idea what I would do without my mum ^_^.
I was getting mixed messages from the guys there to be honest (although I didn’t help by not wearing my badge – yes you can tell I was so interested in the guys there). Although I got told I look younger then my years and should maybe start going for younger guys … I’m still lost the art of seeing interest is beyond me.
And then I was speaking to some folk and I got told I look intelligent and dare I say it geeky, this may explain why geeks actually appear to like me, kin and all that. And made me ponder on whether I should’ve taken part in the various makeovers I’ve been offered over the years. My sister says it’s because I don’t want to look pretty, which in a sense is true, I’m not on this planet to look pretty, although without looking pretty a guy won’t look at me initially apparently, maybe I should wear a hijab then, although wearing a hijab in order to get hitched sounds fake right, fake in order to get attached to a real guy. The irony of the matter is partly lost on me.
Although I have seen people worry at the fact that I don’t seem to be attracted to any guys, does that make me asexual, no idea, I just don’t see the appeal that people seem to attach the emotions they suppose I should feel, it can however be slightly amusing to see them misinterpret my emotions (be this blushing or being lost for words) as they perceive interest whereas I feel embarrassment, both for me and them.
And there’s my rant over I just thought I’d share the pulling power I have with whacks :D
Toodles folk o/
Monday, 30 January 2012
Friday, 27 January 2012
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Rim-k ft. Kader & Selim - Harraga Maghreb united 2009 NEW
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Monday, 23 January 2012
Okay well beautiful people, I was having a chat with my mum, as you do, about various things, be this the fact that I'm smart I just don't use my brains, I have an anger problem as I don't have enough patience, which I all acknowledge and am working on, my discipline is coming back as I'm trying to get back into my exercise routine and starting to read stuff (ie non-fiction) again so I feel like I'm on a good path, I just lost my way and it took me ages to realise that I need to start something to see which routes are open to me rather then waiting in the dark waiting for some direction when I haven't given myself even a match to see with.
And then up came the marriage thing again, and what had been nagging me for time was finally resolved. I have always thought not muslim, not happening and never thought beyond this. And then something my mum said really clicked and it finally made sense with my thinking. Don't get together with a guy who adores you and you do not adore him back, it's an unequal partnership and both of you will not benefit from this matter. And that would explain the last couple of years to a T. Lifted a weight from my shoulders anyhow and totally made my weekend, year!! Woohoo!
Anyhow toodles for now, I just realised all my foundation is darker then me and so only suited my sisters ... lol
Bye!!
Saturday, 21 January 2012
Friday, 20 January 2012
Thursday, 19 January 2012
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Opinion
Society is not immoral
Forget all those wars
And the reigns of terror
And forget the major terrors
Like the KKK
Just remember as long as you
Live in the middle
Of nowhere
Then society will always
Remain normal
In the mind
Mankind
the want
not need
to be
above all others
where peace never walks
and greed and fear rule all
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Monday, 16 January 2012
Friday, 13 January 2012
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Monday, 9 January 2012
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Friday, 6 January 2012
Okay well I was watching a drama yesterday with my mum, Diya aur Baati hum, and was questioning the logical thinking of some people, what's really sad is, some of these people exist in real life.
You will get hard working folk, who through no fault of their own will get blamed for stuff which is not their fault or even worth a hissy fit over. And then those who call themselves martyrs will comment or suggest how at fault another is, whereas if you are truly a martyr you would never suggest this, but as people don't appear to apply logic they seem to believe whatever they are told as the person speaking calls themselves a martyr. And just because they say this enough times others believe them. It's a sad fate that people allow this to be used in order to allow others think for them in this manner.