Ramzi - Arabic Queen

Well a friend recently lost her father whom she was very close to ... when I went to go give my respects she reminded me of my father. I was very close to him although due to him being a terrible father and husband I haven't seen him for over 10 years, a few years after my mum divorced him.

I know I have 2 half siblings whom I've never met, tbh I've never thought much about it, my father married a close relative for his second wife, hopefully this will mean the marriage is more stable then it was. Although he just appeared to be a confused guy when I knew him. I recall the first book he brought for me (I requested it) I recall the blank expression he gave me when I questioned why he hit mum when it was against the faith of Islam, showing him the several sources, including a whole chapter of the book he brought me.

Since he left (not that he stayed at home much except when he was ill so mum looked after him) my mum protected me and my siblings for the ills of the world. I know I still look at some things in shock, even a guy walking topless down the street will cause me to look the other way, or perhaps I'm just old fashioned (perhaps because of this seclusion that I was comfortable with)

Anyway I digress ... my friend the only way I could feel anything near what she was feeling was thinking about my mum, if she died what would I do? Would I be strong and stand there whilst people came to pay their respecting lamenting and me being reminded time and again what I had only recently lost. Grief is natural and to not allow that hinders the healing within us all, however my mum is the centre of my world, even if I don't know how to look after her(!). What would happen if the centre of me was lost. I know my mum stays that everyone has the ability to rise from loss, as she had to do when she lost her mum also, I can only hope that I can do justice by my mum in this life, at still have had that little bit of time with her which many have not had with their parents and believe that when she returns to the almighty I've learnt enough from her to be a child who will honour and respect the legacy she has left within me

And if my mum thinks I'm strange when I go hug her, meh, we don't need a reason to hug those that we love. Take care people and treasure those moments that we have with those cherish people that are the family of our hearts, be this in blood or friendship o/