Flow ...

Song - Jennifer Lopez - What is Love

Hmm and here was me thinking I could easily do a blog every day. Although I did write a whole essay yesterday but it got lost somewhere in the cosmos and I couldn't recall what I had written so I left it alone.

I'm feeling half mellow, half not, not sure if I'm tired or not. Well I've been reminded of weird folk today. One thing people may know about me is don't insult me or mine, I will want to pick up the nearest 2x4 and whack you with it. Although if I think you're a safe individual I'll let you insult me, seeing as it might just be banter, letting of steam or mainly something in my character I need to work on. But don't insult the folk I care about, they is a reason I hold those people in esteem and that's not so idiot folk can try and belittle them through their uncreative speech which much of the time makes no sense anyhow and would be comical if it wasn't a veiled insult at best.

Are people just insecure when they start making up traits that ppl do not possess, is it a matter of just trying to make themselves feel just that little bit better, or is it just a habit taht they have learned of another and they feel it acceptable to spread this taint spread across the population rather then trying to encourage everyone to come together in order to reach a higher state for society in general so that we can excel and make something for the future generation, so they don't look back and wonder why we wrecked it all for them.

Talking about future generations, I've recently been pondering hijab, should I, shouldn't I. I've always felt somewhat separate from the whole issue feeling that I don't really represent the muslimahs very well, not the most religious of people and all. Although I did recently ask a fair few folk and most of them thought I was pretty religious, I felt somewhat humbled by the response as I don't really know how my image represents itself to the world and do occasionally fear taht I'm portraying myself to be a right dolt much of the time (luckily though most think I'm still at school for some reason, I've asked folk I no longer look 16 I just act like an 8 yr old, and it's only my use of language that has them thinking I'm older than the 8 years I act like! However this means I get let of for a lot of stuff ^_^). But another reason for it would be that the marriage market would be so different, then I could ponder at getting hitched to the more religious folk , however with me questioning my faith at every hurdle I ponder as to whether this is a valid reason for wanting to wear the hijab, everything is written and should I change something for a gain in this world, yes a life partner is more then something material, but would I only want a life partner because it's seen as the next step and something that needs to be done, rather then me wanting to get into a relationship in order to further my iman and get that potential upgrade in paradise(!).

Anyhow I'm losing my train of thought again I'm gonna go back to train watching (yes no pun intended) and finally realised why trains start beeping whilst pulling away from a platform - because there are workman on the tracks and they're informing them to get out of the way!