Awari

This is the song directly from the film, which I thought was more heartfelt for me whilst watching the movie, although I would probably just listen to the audio as it was a beautiful song:





It was a beautiful piece and when searching for the lyrics the ones I thought best were from:


http://www.bollymeaning.com/2014/06/awari-awaari-lyrics-translation-ek.html 

I've tweaked some of the words below and placed each line next to it's translation, feel free to disagree(!):


The song was used in the Movie Ek Villain, written by Soch who you can also find the song being performed by them (and the plight of the oppressed is better heard when one of those who could be an oppressor speaks up about it)


[Male]
Teri baahon mein jo sakoon tha mila - The peace that I found in your arms
Maine dhoondha bahut tha - I had looked for (that peace) a lot.
Phir na milaa... - Never found it again

[Female]
Duniya chhoona chaahe mujh ko yoon - The world wants to touch me as it wishes
Jaise un ki saari ki saari main - as if I belong completely to them
Duniya dekhe roop mera - The world looks at my physical beauty
Koi na jaane bechaari main - No one knows how wretched I am

[Chorus x 2]
Haaye, tooti saari ki saari main - Oh, I am completely broken
Tere ishq mein hoi Awaari main - I have become a vagabond in your love

Koi shaam bulaaye - Some call for me in the evenings
Koi daam lagaaye - Some set a price on me
Main bhi upar se hansti - I, too, smile on the surface
Par andar se haaye.. - but inside, alas, (I cry)

[Male]
Kyun dard chupaaye baithi hai - Why do you bottle all your pain inside
Kyun tu mujh se kehti hai - Why do you say this to me
Main to khud hi bikhra hua - I am also shattered inside


[Chorus x 2]
Haaye andar andar se toota main - Oh, I'm broken from inside
Tere ishq mein khud hi se rootha main - In your love, I'm become angry with myself

Main jee bharke ro loon - I'll cry as much as I wish

Teri baahon mein so loon - I'll sleep in your arms
Aa phir se mujhe mil - Come, meet me again
Main tujh se ye boloon - I'll tell you these things again
Tu anmol thi - You were a priceless treasure
Pal pal bolti thi - Who spoke in each moment
Aisi chup tu laga ke gayi - Now you are creating such a silence
Saari khushiyaan kha ke gayi - That is ending all the happiness


[Chorus]
Haaye andar andar se toota main - Oh, I'm broken from inside
Tere ishq mein khud hi se rootha main - In your love, I'm become angry with myself

[Female]
Haaye, dethi hoon saari ki saari main - Oh, I give all of myself
phar tere liye bazaari main - However for you I will sell myself


Not sure that I captured the last couple of lines as I wanted, where it indicates more a loss of soul (my interpretation)


The song also takes me back to another song Kaante - Maahi Ve, which I also thought was quite a moving song:







As I'm not fully checking the lyrics I've posted a link showing where someone has already done it:

http://www.ardhamy.com/song/maahi-ve

Years & Years - Take Shelter

So long time no write ...

I'm currently being selfish and have started a new career path, teaching Maths! Who would have thought it, I know I've taught some young people on the fly, usually one-on-one tuition. This is completely different to teaching whole classrooms though.

Trying to find the pace of the whole class is probably the most challenging part of this course so far. Although my first school was all low level behaviour, the key to my second school is apparently rapport ...

No words to say what is happening, however we'll see how the years spans out ... bar informing a kid that yes I have heard of Eminem ...

The Script - Superheroes

Excuses

Sami Yusuf - Ya Allahu Ya Rahmanu

 

Well it's time again, my mum is looking to get her daughters hitched ...

I was watching the above video and perhaps in a degree I agree with him, I have burns on my legs, do I have low self esteem due to this, I'm not sure. However that does mean that if some guy calls me pretty I think I have burns and if you knew would those words have ever been said? Let's not get started on the other imperfections I think I have, but that's my insecurities, there are some good guys that will not see these things and I thank Allah for allowing me to see this, as maybe I would have seen the scars as some impediment.

Marriage, a relationship that brings together 2 families and bring communities together even if only for a short period of time. To hopefully find the lifetime companion in which half the deen can be worked by working together to help each other in our faith and family.

However I have been told many a time that my ideals are too lofty and that I am looking through rose-tinted glasses, I would disagree, I have lived the life I was given for some I have lived a harsh life although when I look at the situation in comparison to the rest of the world I have lived in luxury and am thankful for everything I was given. I would rather look for the best in a relationship and a person then try and play the supposed realist and lower my standards, an example of this was someone telling me that why should I care if my potential partner smokes(?!?).

The biggest thing I look for in a partner is whether I believe they will be a good parent, at the end of the day, it is the future generations that will shape the world and it's these unborn souls that I worry about. I recall my last words to my father and how it still affects me to this day. I forgave my father for he never really did anything to me, it's how he damaged other folk that I sometimes wonder if it's my forgiveness that matters.

And looking back I may have even refused a future because of this fear I have my myself being a parent. I pray that those people found worthy partners because they are wonderful people and deserve that much.

Kabhi Jo Baadal Barse Song Arijit Singh Jackpot 2013

Love

Maher Zain - Guide Me All The Way

Tis the session for Desi folk to ponder on the unwed, as my mother has got daughters who are yet wed, folk deem it acceptable to insinuate that she is lacking as a mother as we are in that state. Even going further by claiming that she is money hungry and thus keeping us single.

I would laugh it off, however I am not my mother and she takes it to heart. Having been kept out of the community for so long, finding acceptance is pretty much just out of reach can be difficult. Luckily I cannot miss what I never had, be this a father's love or a community's acceptance. So I tend to laugh, and when I tell the supposed "Muslim" folk that they have no right, the "gore" (as they deem everyone who they don't believe is Muslim) helped when the Muslim community left us in the lurch, I owe no allegiance to then for them to require me or anyone to bend to their will.

Nevertheless my mum wants us hitched now ... her requirement for a son-in-law at present is one that will take her to umrah whenever she wants ...

So what does one do, I've seen several guys with the whole arranged marriage thing, they come around and you do the marriage interview, I never realised how emotional guys are. The majority of them are waiting for the "click" moment. What? Seriously? What is this mythical moment?

Love at first sight apparently for then is what they are waiting for, idiots, love isn't for the majority of people something you can just see, yes you can make plenty of first impressions this may dictate the nature of the relationship however most folk will have a heart stopping moment to a person who does not see them in the same light. So in essence they spend decades looking for this moment, forgetting all the moments they could have had. Love a compromise from 2 people forging a future together, helping create a better world today in order for their children to inherit the brighter tomorrow ...

Folk have asked me what would happen if I fell in love I would change my mind. No I doubt I would, I have felt attraction, most folk do, however I chose not to act on it. I have to consider more then a blind moment of attraction, I am looking for a lifetime companion not a flavour.

I ask myself do I believe in Islam? That is the first question I asked, it took me a whole year to come to a conclusion, during that time I noticed stuff I had done previously which may have also given the wrong impression, I had worn skinny jeans, yes they were a size bigger than my actual size, but you could still see the body shape, and I wore fitted trousers and shirts to jobs ... life was suddenly more important in the spiritual fashion and the material world slipped away ...

Once I determined that Islam and the creator was more important than creation my life was changed, although I lost some direction which I was losing anyway (still working out of the depression that had started a few years prior to university - note to all - do not bottle up it can crack the psyche) I gained some peace within my soul and felt a calm I had never felt before.

And so like the guy with OCD who would leave his door unlocked I felt my heart yearning for this part of me that was at peace and found in Islam.

So even when I attracted to a non-Muslim I didn't concern myself, I would find a companion to find peace with rather than a temporary fling which would taint my soul and any future actions towards the people who I would face in the future.

So I discovered that most men are idiots ... even years later it appears to still be the case, I even started to wear make-up a couple of years back (my mum got told that it was because we didn't do it that we couldn't find guys - I don't understand the logic so cannot explain) so I went and learnt, took ages and after buying a ton of stuff, my mum finally understood, no its not make-up, we have issues in our family but it's not the expensive make-up.

So what serious Muslim potentials have their been ... a few ... that's all, I don't mind diverging stories of the idiots, however the ones that I let leave wee due to me and I pray they find good partners worthy of them, and then I think it is me. Maybe I should know what love is and not look for a guy who accepts me, even if he doesn't get the sharpness or speed of my thoughts ... as some aunties say find anyone and trap, they then frown when I remind them that a relationship that stays on a lie tends on end because of the same thing ...

Long Live Palestine - LowKey

LOWKEY (FT. MAI KHALIL) - CRADLE OF CIVILISATION (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

Neil Hilborn - "OCD" (Rustbelt 2013)

Akala - Fire In The Booth

Words

Okay well I wasn't meant to publish this one until I could compose my thoughts ... but it accidentally got published and so it's just a stay thought rather than a rant ...

It wasn't what they said, it was when you listened to them

Regret

Fall Out Boy - Thanks for the Memories

So I have an ultimatum, I regretted it as soon as the words were released from my mouth, but as the answer was given it cemented the route that my thoughts had been traveling anyway.

I took a bit of time in order to ensure that I could behave in a befitting manner seeing as I'm not a saint and I need to try at least to allow people their choices and move out without burning the wooden structures that haphazardly created were not as stable as stone could have been, perhaps it's my fault for not using a different material, or even to allow the mountain to be dug into, allowing the structure to withhold anything except the earth of which it was composed.

However as someone once told me, I'm not indifferent because I feel too little it is because I feel too much. So although I can stay my tongue, the years still escape at the most inopportune moments.

Laughing as the pressure builds from within, trying to make plans that I should not have faltered from years before, where being content holds a world of welcome promises ...

Where praying is not an act of worship but need for sanity

J-Co feat. Fabolous - Werke Werke (Remix)

Lyrics for J-Co feat. Fabolous - Werke Werke (Remix)

This remix is J Co – Werke werke with Fabolous – Young’n

Fabolous:
Cruisin top on the Mercedes low
Turn us up when you hear this on the radio
Blastin with the nineteen eighty flow
Make the necks on the ladies go (wooo wooop)
Holla that's what a pretty thug will do
Hit Branson get a fifty jug or two
Ya'll throwin on them gritty mugs for who
Like ya'll don't know what fifty slugs will do

J Co:
CHORUS
I like the way you werke, werke
the way you move that body
You got me feeling me feeling, flirty, flirty x2
I like the way you werke, werke
the way you move that body
You got me feeling me feeling, flirty, flirty x2
Flirty
Man look at shelly go, look at shelly go, oh let me check you out
Young wife from the West Indies, come on let me show what I’m all about
And the name’s J Co, you should already know, when the money’s what I’m all about
And if you wanna go, baby just ask and I’ll be there to take you out
Man you look so familiar, man I swear I’ve seen ya
You’re like something on a magazine, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
Man I’m trying to feel ya, so tell me what’s the deal ya,
And I’m not just your average teen, I’m probably the most grown you’ve ever seen
CHORUS
Ooh, your body move like Jello, young  and ready to do with you, you know how that go,
You might think I’m psycho, for try put game on yo
I really like your swing and you know my age and a thing
Oh baby shake that bumper, let her know that I’d give her that number
Ooh so familiar, man I swear I’ve seen ya
On the front of a magazine, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
You’re like Mona Lisa, I, I just wanna know ya,
And I’m not just your average teen, I’m probably the most grown you’ve ever seen
CHORUS

Fabolous:
Hatin I just bought the bulls
I put ya'll in the front page articles
I got em lookin at the billboard charts confused
And I still freestyle to start the Clue'
Reppin I'm that kid about the dough
I done copped coke and started droughts before
S*** Platinum out the door
Now I drop the top down just to shout to h***

J Co:
You look so scandalous, girl,  you got me delirious
The way you work that body, cute lil body, all around,
You look so scandalous, girl,  you got me delirious
The way you work that body, cute lil body, all around
CHORUS

DJ ARMZ - Flirty Flirty - 2pac Lyrics

Lyrics for DJ ARMZ - Flirty Flirty - 2pac

This uses the song J Co – Werke werke  and 2Pac – Let Em Have It.

2Pac:

See, it all started simple
Turning me licking your n******
F******* you doggy style to this instrumental
Hands up
All up inside your head
I could stand you
Eyes open
I don't plan to bust, just hold on
Let me zone in
What do you mean, can you scream, let it go, b****
How does it feel?
Gotta n**** like steel in ya
To keep going on, f****** like I'm killing ya
Lets go another round
Baby is you down really
Two shots of esctasy
Lick a n**** down silly
Your body next to me
I can touch you inside, and you'll cry
So good when a n**** leave, you'll die
My mama told baby be a man put it on a hit
On b****** like switches coming around the corner
I wanna let me get my ride on
It's your d*** baby but it's my song
If you really want it

J Co:

CHORUS
I like the way you werke, werke
the way you move that body
You got me feeling me feeling, flirty, flirty x2
I like the way you werke, werke
the way you move that body
You got me feeling me feeling, flirty, flirty x2
Flirty

Man look at shelly go, look at shelly go, oh let me check you out
Young wife from the West Indies, come on let me show what I’m all about
And the name’s J Co, you should already know, when the money’s what I’m all
about
And if you wanna go, baby just ask and I’ll be there to take you out
Man you look so familiar, man I swear I’ve seen ya
You’re like something on a magazine, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
Man I’m trying to feel ya, so tell me what’s the deal ya,
And I’m not just your average teen, I’m probably the most grown you’ve ever seen
CHORUS

2Pac:

Now you been acting like you want it for a long time
All up in a n**** face, giving me them strong vibes
Look in my eyes and you'll find peace
A Gemini so you really blow my mind freak
C'mon I got my clothes off, hard as a n**** in jail
Skinny n***** throw the d*** well
Everybody get they condoms, rubber cause it's time to f***
Hurry up and put it on n**** time is up
What's next? Got my mind on some group s**
Where you going baby I ain't even through yet
Do it like a true vet, love it how I threw it to ya
In and out make it good to ya
Remember me?
I love f****** slow with the lights low
Black, Puerto Rican, even white h***
Felice Amor, Que Linda, Dame Veso (Spanish: Sweet love, your a cutie, give me a kiss)
Got my bed soaked
Come to papi
F******* till the s*** is sloppy (sloppy)
If you really want it

J Co:

CHORUS
Ooh, your body move like Jello, young  and ready to do with you, you know how that go,
You might think I’m psycho, for try put game on yo
I really like your swing and you know my age and a thing
Oh baby shake that bumper, let her know that I’d give her that number
Ooh so familiar, man I swear I’ve seen ya
On the front of a magazine, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
You’re like Mona Lisa, I, I just wanna know ya,
And I’m not just your average teen, I’m probably the most grown you’ve ever
seen
CHORUS

2Pac:

Rock ya, body body x7
We came to
Rock ya, body body x7
We came to

J Co:

You look so scandalous, girl,  you got me delirious
The way you work that body, cute lil body, all around,
You look so scandalous, girl,  you got me delirious
The way you work that body, cute lil body, all around
CHORUS

2Pac:

I'm a Zodiac  f****** I do you all one at a time and all down the line

Predictability

Trey Songz - Doorbell

There are only 3/4 people tat have ever understood me without words. The first being my mum the rest being folk who I could have been close friends with.

I say 3/4 because the I don't think the 4th got me, he accepted my personality, which was one of the few times I've been speechless (truly speechless as in no word or images could reflect my mind).

However introvert that I am, when becoming friends with a guy and then they get a partner I'm usually warned away by said partner. As much as a treasure friendship, I wish them happiness more then my feeling of contentment. Even if their happiness does not last, a moment of happiness is a priceless commodity and I am joyous in that life allowed them those moments. Although in all cases, bar my mother, this has meant a near end to all those friendships. And I wish them well, for being such gracious folk they deserve all the happiness that life can bring!

And although my mum thinks I'm a tad cuckoo and may remain unwed (Desi catastrophe!) til the end of my days she supports whatever I do, perhaps hoping that both our goals will be met ^_^.

Until then I'll continue having conversations in my mind, waiting for something, even if it is the sound of my own footsteps walking ...

Birthdays

I find it bizarre that I don't even bat an eyelid at the passing of my own birthday, but yet, still manage to remember the one of my little brother. I guess it's due to him being my only younger sibling ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER :D

Fresh face

Dabke music

So recently the whole selfie for cancer awareness was done. Not at all endorsed by cancer research and rightfully so. I didn't agree with it at all, I don't personally have any friends who suffered from it, but that might be due to me not being a social butterfly ... !

So what do I do, I give a little every month, R & D in this field is a good thing. I never check my bank statement to see whether I can afford it or not, I'd rather cut down my grocery list then stop giving.

I've never lost anyone near and dear to me, bar my nan but I was too young to fully appreciate the loss, and everyone else died before I was born, or got to even know who they were.

However this doesn't mean just because you haven't that you won't, the last gift to the living is death, and I'd rather that everyone has a fighting chance then just give up before it's begun because I failed to plan or care.

So people should give to good causes, because they are good causes, not because some person posted a picture of themselves without make-up which I think is a whole different debate ...

Eyes wide open

The Saturdays - Not Giving Up

I always thought I was transparent,apparently I'm not ...

Half a surprise, half not ... when no one can tell the difference between your laughter and tears then there is isn't much else to say ...

Fear

I just woke up - really tired so had a nap. And realised I have no idea what I've do if an intruder came into the house, I'm a useless ninny ...

This seems to have been due to some attachment training that I went to earlier in the week ... still pondering on my thoughts about it ... I know I definitely saw quite few folk in my mind who had these issues in my mind ...

Robin Hood - Merry Men

The day when folk realize that money is not something I'm partial to, is perhaps the day someone will find the key to unlock the part that remains hidden ...

Josef Salvat - Hustler (SaneBeats Remix)

Masks

David Guerra - The Egg (because the car advert rocks ...)

Anyway masks, everyone has them whether it's folk who hold different ones for different things, social, business, personal, etc. Some hold them in order to hide themselves away from the world, some so out to conquer their fears, others to change themselves so that they become that mask, realising that the mask is something we start to become in delusions of self denial thinking that we are in control.

I remember art uni where I asked a housemate why she write make up, het answer - because I don't want anyone to see me ...

I asked a work colleague why he didn't just leave home when his only outlet was shallow relationships, his response - because she cried ...

Sometimes if not all the time, I look in the mirror and have no idea who I'm staring at, maybe I'm changing or maybe I'm going senile ... scaring myself silly in the meantime ...

The ones who smile the most have seen the most pain, be wary and heed their wisdom ...

Big Bucks

Big Bucks

Pop Danthology 2013 - Mashup of 68 songs!