Love

Maher Zain - Guide Me All The Way

Tis the session for Desi folk to ponder on the unwed, as my mother has got daughters who are yet wed, folk deem it acceptable to insinuate that she is lacking as a mother as we are in that state. Even going further by claiming that she is money hungry and thus keeping us single.

I would laugh it off, however I am not my mother and she takes it to heart. Having been kept out of the community for so long, finding acceptance is pretty much just out of reach can be difficult. Luckily I cannot miss what I never had, be this a father's love or a community's acceptance. So I tend to laugh, and when I tell the supposed "Muslim" folk that they have no right, the "gore" (as they deem everyone who they don't believe is Muslim) helped when the Muslim community left us in the lurch, I owe no allegiance to then for them to require me or anyone to bend to their will.

Nevertheless my mum wants us hitched now ... her requirement for a son-in-law at present is one that will take her to umrah whenever she wants ...

So what does one do, I've seen several guys with the whole arranged marriage thing, they come around and you do the marriage interview, I never realised how emotional guys are. The majority of them are waiting for the "click" moment. What? Seriously? What is this mythical moment?

Love at first sight apparently for then is what they are waiting for, idiots, love isn't for the majority of people something you can just see, yes you can make plenty of first impressions this may dictate the nature of the relationship however most folk will have a heart stopping moment to a person who does not see them in the same light. So in essence they spend decades looking for this moment, forgetting all the moments they could have had. Love a compromise from 2 people forging a future together, helping create a better world today in order for their children to inherit the brighter tomorrow ...

Folk have asked me what would happen if I fell in love I would change my mind. No I doubt I would, I have felt attraction, most folk do, however I chose not to act on it. I have to consider more then a blind moment of attraction, I am looking for a lifetime companion not a flavour.

I ask myself do I believe in Islam? That is the first question I asked, it took me a whole year to come to a conclusion, during that time I noticed stuff I had done previously which may have also given the wrong impression, I had worn skinny jeans, yes they were a size bigger than my actual size, but you could still see the body shape, and I wore fitted trousers and shirts to jobs ... life was suddenly more important in the spiritual fashion and the material world slipped away ...

Once I determined that Islam and the creator was more important than creation my life was changed, although I lost some direction which I was losing anyway (still working out of the depression that had started a few years prior to university - note to all - do not bottle up it can crack the psyche) I gained some peace within my soul and felt a calm I had never felt before.

And so like the guy with OCD who would leave his door unlocked I felt my heart yearning for this part of me that was at peace and found in Islam.

So even when I attracted to a non-Muslim I didn't concern myself, I would find a companion to find peace with rather than a temporary fling which would taint my soul and any future actions towards the people who I would face in the future.

So I discovered that most men are idiots ... even years later it appears to still be the case, I even started to wear make-up a couple of years back (my mum got told that it was because we didn't do it that we couldn't find guys - I don't understand the logic so cannot explain) so I went and learnt, took ages and after buying a ton of stuff, my mum finally understood, no its not make-up, we have issues in our family but it's not the expensive make-up.

So what serious Muslim potentials have their been ... a few ... that's all, I don't mind diverging stories of the idiots, however the ones that I let leave wee due to me and I pray they find good partners worthy of them, and then I think it is me. Maybe I should know what love is and not look for a guy who accepts me, even if he doesn't get the sharpness or speed of my thoughts ... as some aunties say find anyone and trap, they then frown when I remind them that a relationship that stays on a lie tends on end because of the same thing ...