Contemplation

Rihanna - Man Down

Sometimes I ponder on whether I'd be a Muslim if I hadn't been raised that way.

I didn't even take it seriously till I went to uni. I had never bothered with all the stuff considered as sin, purely because it didn't look that fun. Cigarettes - why bother they only made me cough, alcohol - have you ever cleaned the stuff up out smells, drugs - smells disgusting, headaches and it costs a lot of money I never had, theft - why would I steal it belongs to someone else and what's to stop karma making it happen to me, boyfriends - has anyone ever met any guys worth the trouble, and the list goes on ...

Then uni, the real world comes and slaps you in the face, use-and-abuse the world, it's the fastest way to get anywhere worth getting to apparently. Love is just a word folk like to throw and the biggest commodity on the games people play, but without it we are nothing and with it we will never be incomplete. I guess growing up its more them just a slap in the face, and folk ponder on why I like to get lost in a good story, because the boundaries are something else, and depending on the genre you always know what will happen ...

Be grateful for what you have, it will be taken from you one day, and that day that you break down, it's only those grateful moments which will allow you to survive, even if those days are only in hope, for even hope it's a sister to joy ...

Can I stomach it ...

Conor Maynard - R U Crazy

For the first time in my life I got food poisoning ... OMG argh!!

Not fun at all, for the first day I was alternating between bathroom and my bed, taking breaks in between, hoping I don't faint or vomiting, not at all fun, so in future, not eating at another auntie's house without knowing how they cook beforehand, I do not have an iron clad stomach and have only escaped this dilemma by watching what I've been eating prior to this ...

The next day I felt tons better, I can actually walk to the bathroom without taking a break but wow was I still dizzy taking 5 times longer to walk, eat, made me yet again appreciate what I take for granted, my body!

Trapped

Fall out boy ft Big Sean

Some say I bottle everything inside, I say those people should be grateful for what I will never have, a confidante. I am who I am and though my heart dies inside at times, I am content (just as most of the world is) with what I have.

Some folk seem to think that I'm completely open, that just shows how well people do/don't know me. I might not care about whether you know my favorite colour, but will I tell you my nightmares. My true fears are those that only my diary will ever know, for who can be trusted with this.

Forgiveness

Union J - Beautiful Life

Well I have never seen myself to be a very forgiving person, folk who really know me know this, my stubborn mind can hold an opinion forever ...

However because I don't appear to be mean, folk think I'm a simpleton ...

One day I will do something other than laugh at their assumptions, weirdos ...

Strengths Finder

Sugababes - Shape

My sister has a new job, and got given strengths finder 2.0 in order to find her strengths and thus work better with these strengths and finding balance with folk of other strengths to achieve better results rather than ppl working at a mediocre level by working on their weaknesses.

Anyway she told me I should do this, but I'm too tight to go buy the code (I already got the book as epub and my sister has it sat on the shelf at home)

So Google I went and got the following:

http://freestrengthsfinder.workuno.com/

So although folk only note their top 5, you get a score against each category and by limiting to the top 5 I miss out on some with the same value, so my results were:

80 - Input
78 - Intellection
78 - Learner
78 - Deliberative
76 - Developer
76 - Fairness - translates to Consistency in the strength finder book
76 - Restorative
76 - Ideation
76 - Individualization

Apparently it's an eye opening experience, to me I'm not so sure, it confirmed what I already knew although maybe I feel a bit better, I know I'm not one of those aggressive people who likes to set forth and lead folk (even if my sister thinks I'd make a great leader I just dislike people not working to their full potential and comparing them to the standards I've set for myself ...)

Hopefully I'll be able to use this to better myself and thus help those around me in the same manner, but if you want you can get the book

or try the link above which I completed for free, in order to get my strengths and then read the relevant sections in the book ...

http://www.epubbud.com/book.php?g=NMDQAB89

Syria in Five Minutes

Gathering

Jay Sean - Passenger Side

One day I'm going to just have a no holds barred entry ...

My sister chose my sister, one sister is to honest and doesn't actually know what's happening, the other is a two faced twit who everyone seems to love because she's spent years living a lie that no one knows, except for those she counts as weaker then her.

Maybe someone will see it one day,but today is not that day, and I doubt that day is going to come anytime soon.

Mum went and said out we were all guys how different it would be, I told her I wouldn't live at home, mum just agreed, well what else would she say?